Community of Travelers

So, the folks at MD Anderson want me to come down for my 128-day check-up. Research doctors count like that. If it was me I’d say, “I’ll see you in about four months,” but thankfully these guys are very precise. I’m part of a research study aimed at finding a cure for chronic lymphocytic leukemia (CLL). And it’s working pretty darn well. I’m what they call MRD negative, or marginal residual disease negative. Or to put it in terms that makes sense to the rest of us, they can’t find any evidence of the disease inside of me. That’s better than remission, and I’m delighted. But I hate these check-ups.

I live about an eight-hour drive from Houston, so a “check-up” which may mean 15 minutes with the doc, or a full day of tests, can easily stretch into a three-day affair. So, as I’m writing this blog, I’m at about 20,000 feet on a Southwest Airlines jet cutting the three days down to one. I’m not terribly nervous, but I think it’s impossible not to be a little apprehensive. What if they find something? What if MRD negative turns into, “Sorry, but we have to start treatment again?” Probably not, but it’s always there in the back of my mind.

I’ve tried a few times to write a song about getting cancer, but those efforts have largely failed. They ended up either sounding like self-pitiful whining or pretty insincere. Either way, they haven’t been any good. The only way I could approach the subject was to write a song about a loved one who has battled a much worse version of this awful disease called cancer. Will You Finish What We Started makes me cry every time I sing it. A number of my friends remind me when they hear it that in most venues, people come to have a couple of beers and a good time, and they don’t want to listen to sad songs.

Sorry, but sad songs make me happy. I can’t really explain it. It’s just that connecting to life’s real stuff, and realizing that we all have “real stuff,” seems to soothe my soul in some way. Seems to me that we’re part of a community of fellow travelers, and the road is often crooked and bumpy, and we’ll all fare a little better if we share our experiences with each other, learn from each other, and lend a little support when we can.

Okay, I’m going back to sleep now. The flight left at 6:00 AM, boarded at 5:30 AM, I got up at 3:00 AM, and I won’t be home until about 10:00 PM this evening…still feels like a couple-of-days sort of deal at this point.  

__________

Postscript: Getting ready to head from the hospital back to the airport. Received the blood work a few minutes ago and all the numbers are very good, in fact, better than expected. I love these check-ups.